Infertile women hate the word “Relax”

The very first time I heard that word as an infertile woman, white sandy beaches and spontaneous sex during languishing balmy days no longer came to mind. Like a record player needle dragged across the vinyl, scratching and digging into the grooves, the sensuous samba ended. 

Chapter II – Spring 1993

“Its just part of the process.”

“I’m not worried about her changing her mind.” I stuck my face out at her. “I don’t believe she wants to give her baby up. Period. Let me talk with her alone.”

“Trust me. She’s decided.” Ms. K straightened the miniature doll collection stationed on top of her computer. “She hasn’t wavered once in our meetings. You’re nervous, that’s all. And that’s normal, too.” Her hands flew to her hair and in half a minute had an upswept hairdo secured with chopsticks. “She’s due in less than a month, and by Halloween you’ll be a mom. I promise. I’ve seen this happen a hundred times before. Ree laah kss. Just relax.”

I blanched and clamped down on my purse until the overpowering urge to punch her subsided. I despised that word: relax. How dare she utter that word in my direction? Didn’t she, an adoption matchmaker to a passel of infertile women, know how that one word scraped us raw? News flash! Infertile women never relax. We don’t know how to relax. We’re wound up tight with guilt, envy, regret, and desperation, stumbling down the only path we’ll accept: the one with a baby at the end of it. Before I could give her a piece of my mind, she stood up and sprayed lavender water into the air. My time was up.

6 thoughts on “Infertile women hate the word “Relax”

    • Thanks! I’m just curious where are you commenting?

      how’s it going in Ft. Collins? Had a nice long talk with Laura about her feelings after her friends cleared out the shed. It’s very positive and she’s glad, but it dredged up lots of stuff She’s glad to hear you’re coming by again.

      I’m still woozy from weaning off the cymbalta and am taking more naps, but the headache and body aches are gone : )

      Thinking of you, L

  1. Even though I have read the whole book a number of times,(which, for those of you who have not yet had the pleasure, is an absolute page turner), seeing these excerpts gives me an even clearer notion of what a great writer you are. Talk about sharp crisp detail-dense writing jam packed with emotion and action. As for the lavender spritz at the end….superb!
    These short shots of the longer work really captivate Liz. I am certain you could dip in to any page of your book and pull at random and find each offering flawless.
    Keep ’em coming!

    • Thanks Eanlai!

      Dear followers,
      Let me pull back the curtain. Pardon the mess. Please be careful not to trip over the deleted chapters or slip on the pile of discarded adverbs. May I introduce Eanlai, we’ve been in writing classes, writing groups, and our own Finish the F**king Manuscript 3-week Boot Camp. She is also one of best substantive readers I’ve ever known, whose keen eye helped refine Stretch Marks. And is too modest to reveal she’s working on a fabulous novel herself. xoxoxo Liz

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