An infertile woman’s pet peeves…

I’ve received enough comments throughout October to warrant this reminder to good-hearted, well-meaning folks–if you haven’t been on this side of infertility, please tread lightly when comforting or sharing your news with someone whose sorrow is profound, at times, hidden or downplayed, and rarely acknowledged. No one is to blame. We just need to be reminded.

When comforting an infertile woman, please don’t say too much, period. “I’m so sorry,” works wonders. Otherwise, shut up. Just be there, hold, and listen. Most of us do, but sometimes we screw up and find ourselves contorted in bitter-tasting small talk.

When sharing good or bad news, this may seem like common sense to most of you, but, humor me, and please refrain from telling an infertile woman–

how relieved you are at not being pregnant,

about the birth of your baby while still groggy from labor,

that you’re going to terminate a pregnancy, or

shit, I can’t believe it! I’m pregnant again.

Any others?

8 thoughts on “An infertile woman’s pet peeves…

  1. Or how about “Relax, it’ll happen.” “Maybe you’re not doing it the right time of the month.” “Stop trying, that’s how it happened for me.”

    Ugh, it gets really old, really fast. Thanks for posting this reminder!
    Bree 🙂

    • Thanks for these, Bree! These are the corduroy of the platitudes, not to stiff or slick, but still hurtful. So please, let’s refrain from uttering…

      “Relax, it’ll happen.”

      “Maybe you’re not doing it the right time of the month.”

      “Stop trying, that’s how it happened for me.”

  2. My personal favorite: complaining about pregnancy symptoms which are mild and within the norm, ie “my baby is pushing against me RIGHT HERE and its just SO much pressure and I have to pee every 5 MINUTEs and my ankles are SO swollen…” yes, I’m sure pregnancy doesn’t feel good but complain about it to someone else!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s