I wish it weren’t so…

but, there’s still some clinging residue even though I am tenaciously  dismantling a long-held belief–that everything I did as a mother came with an infertility disclaimer.

Warning: this woman has proven to be infertile by miscarriage(s), ectopic pregnancy(s), and failed adoption(s). We can not guarantee that she will   carry a child full term in any way. For more information, please visit http://www.stretchmarks.me

Is this just me or do other women feel this way?

8 thoughts on “I wish it weren’t so…

  1. ‘We cannot guarantee that she will carry a child full term in any way’.

    Something of that line alone strikes me deeply. It articulates with profound precision what seems to be the doubt that resides deep in the heart of some adoptive parents, It really spoke to the deep work you’ve done to identify a devastating false belief.
    The speaking of it alone in this brief blog is inspiring on many levels. It shows that truth is succinct and rings true across all experiences.
    Once again, well done Liz.

  2. Beautiful honesty. Thank you, Liz.

    I have been facing some health issues that are absolutely not created by me. Nothing I did and nothing I do makes me have debilitating migraines. They have been a part of my legacy since my 30’s. And yet…the long held belief that there is something wrong with me, that I am not strong enough, tough enough, smart enough, lucky enough, that there is something inherently wrong with ME is extremely tough to dismantle.

    Is this the human condition? Are we all like this?

  3. Pingback: Writing memoir requires incentives and rewards | Stretch Marks

  4. Wow! This resonates with me too. Growing up I always felt that I wasn’t smart enough, pretty enough, good enough. At first I thought it was my own insecurity…. until I joined a Women’s Circle. One after another, I heard many creative, strong, beautiful women of color expressing the same self-doubt. What causes it? Why are we our harshest critics? Are we comparing ourselves to impossible standards? Could it be that we tend to look outside for validation instead of embracing who we truly are?

    • Thanks, Consuelo! Your questions are spot on and I only wish I had the answers. My hope is that if we talk about it, again and again then maybe, just maybe, we’ll start to crack that veneer that holds together the insecurity, comparisons, and harsh criticism of ourselves.

  5. I agree, Liz. Sharing, talking, writing & reading about it helps a lot. That’s why I dared to write my comment here. I’m moved reading you: You’re so eloquent & brave about being vulnerable. You help me to be honest about my own shadow. Thank you.

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